Zonk! (All I Wanted To Do Was Post A Video)

If you’ve ever served in the military then you know what it’s like to do physical training–or as it’s more commonly known, “PT.” That is, of course, unless you were in the Air Force. Then you just know how to ride an exercise bike for twenty minutes. For all other military folks though, morning PT is just part of the job. You show up at 5:30 AM, freezing your butt off because your boss thinks 30 degrees is warm enough to warrant short-shorts and a t-shirt, then do a bunch of work-outs that are more likely to give you a torn ligament than an improved physique. After that you get to go home and get ready for your actual job. Sound like good times to you? No? Me neither.

On rare occasions–and I mean rare as in it only happened to me once in my whole enlistment–the boss man will say the word zonk. This mysterious word is meant to convey the following:

“Hey, I know I already made you guys get up super early and battle traffic to get here on time, but now that we’re all out here I’m going to release you from your ninety minutes of morning hell and let you go home.”

Now, I’ve got no idea idea where the word came from, but I do know that my one zonking filled me with a confusing mix of irritation and happiness. The happiness was easy enough to trace–my daily brush with frostbite was canceled! But the super irritating part was that they made me show up just to be told I could go home. Of course, such poetic mixtures of emotion are one of the things that gives the Army its unique je ne sais quoi.

So it’s in the spirit of the zonk that I post tonight. I’ve come down with a cold the past couple of days and have been spending my time reading A MIllion Suns and eating Chinese food. as such I thought I would post something easy–a video of corgis doing bellyflops, maybe?–and then hit the sack. However, once I get writing I find it hard to stop without making an effort to have it be somewhat presentable. Thus I ended up giving myself a zonk in reverse: I showed up with the expectation of getting off easy, but stuck around and wrote an entire fricken post.

Oh, well. Here’s that corgi video all the same.