This Is For My Friend, Sean. He Hates Imagination.

I’ve got this friend who hates fiction. Weird, right? Novels, novellas, short stories, poetry, flash–the dude hates it all. And it doesn’t just stop with made-up things in print form Oh no. Movies or television shows get him absolutely heated too. Magazines articles are okay as long as they’re conveyed in bulleted format and the sentences are capped at five words. Sans adjectives, preferably. Likewise on adverbs.

Since I found out about the dude’s condition I’ve been grinding hard on the Internets, trying to find something that will sway him to the side of things-made-up. The guy likes to laugh (I don’t get how you can like laughing but not like fiction, but whatever) so I figured I’d lay out three of my go-to funny sites–also the sites I go to when my brain stops working on a writing project–in the hopes that they’ll break the stony shell around his fiction hating heart.

McSweeny’s Internet Tendency — This site is a fricken gem but it’s just not safe for work. I was in the break room at work when I read the short story, “I’m Sorry I Bit You During My Job Interview” and this lady I work with came in to check on me because she thought I was sobbing.

Red Pen of Doom — This fella’s blog is hi-lair-ee-usPlus, he was an actual journalist at some point unlike the rest of us hacks on here who think we can write.

The Onion — You better already know about this. Subscribe to their Twitter feed and get the gist of the funny by just reading the headline.

Cracked — Funny lists? You got it, dude.

Like I said, these are the sites I usually hit when my brain decides to go on a permanent coffee break in the middle of writing. Maybe they’ll also help my friend to like fiction? II hope so.

Any others that you Internet folks think I should add?

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8 thoughts on “This Is For My Friend, Sean. He Hates Imagination.

  1. How can you hate fiction? That’s crazy!

    LOL, just kidding. I get that some people just don’t appreciate the fantastic in the same way I do, but I also approve in attempting to convert non fiction readers– because everyone deserves a little sprinkle of awesome fiction in their lives.

    Good website choices! Unfortunately, I haven’t any to offer– all the sites I visit are.either straight up fiction or news sites such as BBC, Huffington, NYT, etc.

    • You’ve got to check out McSweeny’s if you haven’t already. Some of the stories are a little dumb (do we really need the constant stream of making-fun-of-hipster stories? I can only take so much meta-irony) but there are usually some good ones that come along every couple weeks.

  2. I only use the internet for educational purposes. And I don’t like fiction either. I only like things that are real. Like CNN and Fox news.

    That being said, the link below is probably the funniest and most accurate thing I have ever seen on the internet in my countless hours perusing nothing. For people who work from home, it is gospel.

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/working_home

    Oh, and I write fiction, so I guess I have to read fiction books, and I guess I like it. A little.

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