Maniacal Monday: Who Said It?

How many of you knew that yesterday’s quote was from Sylvia Plath? I went with my wife a few years back and saw Gweneth Paltrow play her in that movie Sylvia, andI swear if I’d had had a razor in that theater I would have done myself in. Before then I had no idea what kind of crappy stuff she’d had going on with her. So super depressing.

Anyways, try to guess who this maniacal Monday quote is from. But seriously, figure it out quick because this crazy dude has me strapped with C4 that is set to go off unless someone answers this quote.

“Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.” 


Sappy Sundays: Who Said It?

Issac Asimov is one of those people I wish I could kick right in the dick, you know? I mean, the dude makes me sick, with all his inventing stuff and groundbreaking ideas about robots. What a mega-douche.

Despite my crippling jealousy, I still have to admit that the guy was something special–hence yesterday’s quote from The Gods Themselves. I know the quote was a tough one, but I figured it was about time to throw some Asimov into this biatch.

Can you guess this quote? It’s a little on the sad side of romantic, but still wicked good.

“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It’s like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction–every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it’s really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.” 

Sci-Fi Saturdays: Who Said It?

You know what? I’m a little tripped out that more people didn’t recognize yesterday’s quote from H.P. Lovecraft. That dude was like Poe in that he was an O.G. when it came to the horror game. If you haven’t already, you ought to go and get down on some Cthulu.

Now, check out this week’s sci-fi quote!

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to deny it exists.”

Fantasy Friday: Who said It?

Do you remember the scene in Planet of the Apes where Charleton Heston said the quote from yesterday? That thing was wicked epic, right? He’s all pissed off, throwing bows as the apes lace him up and toss him into the monkey jail. Then they have their whole tribunal  thing to figure out where the hairless wonder came from. Seriously though, that movie was fricken awesome, but it’s got nothing on some Soylent Green.

But anyways, enough about my president (kidding!). Onward to the quote!

“The end is near. I hear a noise at the door, as of some immense slippery body lumbering against it. It shall not find me. God, that hand! The window! The window!”

Scott Sigler Sez It’s Good: Indie Publishing for Aspiring Authors

Greetings, my interwebby minions! How are things out in the intertubes? Sweet ass sweet, I hope.

So just recently I took the advice of a friend of mine and started subscribing to podcasts from the folks at What is this “Nerdist” I speak of? Well, friend, Nerdist is a sweet site created by Chris Hardwick, this dude who hosted some dating show on MTV. I’m not so stoked on MTV, but seeing as there’s twenty-thousand pounds of all-things-nerd packed into the site (twenty thousand is actually rounding down, FYI) I can forgive his music television shenanigans.

The bit from Nerdist I’m most stoked about is this super-duper dope interview of author and indie publishing master, Scott Sigler! Hardwick asks the tough questions, by which I mean the questions I’m interested in, about how Sigler got his start. Apparently Mr. Sigler went from unsuccessfully shopping his books around for about nine years before finally giving the publishing industry the finger and releasing his books as serialized podcasts. Since then the guy has become a NYT best seller and has had a story optioned to be a movie. Pretty successful so far, right?

Despite all these bitchin’ little facts about how he’s succeeded in the indie publishing world, I was way more stoked on his advice for aspiring authors. Here’s what he says in an interview from his website, which is pretty much the same thing that he said in the interview:

“There is no blueprint, things are changing too fast. The first piece of advice is get used to the fact that you are in the minor leagues, there is clearly a minor-league system, and in the minors you have to give your content away to build up a following. Be prepared to do that for three to five years before you have enough people to make a difference. It will not happen overnight for you, nor do you want it to, because audience feedback will help shape your storytelling style.

The second piece of advice is that the days of ‘just writing’ are gone. You may hear the old guard talk about how a writer should write, and how they ‘let other people handle those other things.’ Well, that was because these guys signed their publishing deals fifteen, twenty years ago, when there weren’t 500 channels, when there weren’t metroplexes, when video games were nothing like they are today and the internet was basically non-existent. People have so many entertainment choices now, you have to fight for your customers’ time. You have to market AND write, you have to be a businessperson AND an entertainer.

Third and final bit of advice, understand the fact that readers want to connect with the author. Embrace social media, reply to emails, to blog comments, interact with them whenever possible. Don’t be an arrogant douchebag. You are not important. Your work is not important. What’s important is giving people value for the time they spend with their works — write great stories, and be accessible. The days of the author’s ivory tower are long gone.”

Holy crap, I love this for so many reasons. Sometimes I think writers forget that in this age of social media, everyone is accessible. Got a Twitter account? Then you better get used to people directing questions and comments straight at you. Look at /r/ama and you’ll see tons of celebrities willingly answering direct questions from normal schmoes out here in the interwebs because they know that interacting with fans gives you, like, at least twenty-five XP for a fandom level-up.

So my question to all you webby minions is whether you’re down with the indie publishing scene or are you holding out for a “real” book deal? I’m a little on the fence about this thing, mostly because I don’t know which is going to be the best in the long run. I feel like legacy publishers would just as soon give me a kick in the ding-dong as give me some sweet publishing deal, so why not get out there and do this thing on my own?

Oh yeah, and here’s those links again for Nerdist and Scott Sigler. Both of them are wicked awesome and guaranteed to make you better looking.

Theatrical Thursdays: Who Said It?

You know what I love about Mark Twain, the dood who said yesterday’s quote? He’s got my same last name. Well, maybe not exactly the same (Is Clemens really all that different from Clemons? I don’t think so), but it’s close enough for the work of governments.

Check out this little ditty and tell me if you’s mugs can guess it.

“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.”

Writer Wednesdays: Who Said it?

Okay, I’m a little bit surprised that nobody guessed yesterday’s quote. Seeing as I thought we had some serious Potter fans up in this piece I figured that one of you peeps would have guessed that this was from my girl Hermione. You let me down, people.

Make it up by guessing this little jammer.

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”