Spinning Yarns: An Ode to Presidents’ Day

Until twenty minutes ago I was ultra-excited to write this blog post. See, I’d had this idea for a post a couple days ago where I would list all the American presidents who have published fiction over the years. I figured that listing a bunch of presidential fiction publications on my blog would be a sweet way of ringing in this favorite holiday of students and mail carriers alike. Sadly, it was not to be.

Based on my research–I use the word “research” in the loosest sense, as I only “researched” for five minutes at the most–there is not a single publication by an American president that is classified as fiction. Of course, some people might say that everything coming out of the Oval Office constitutes fiction in some sense, but for the purposes of this blog post I was looking for something they’d intended for us to read as made-up.

But don’t stress out, friend. I have another idea that’s still fun, just much less fun than my original idea. Here’s a list some of the great political fiction, but I’m taking a page out of M. Night Shyamalan’s book for a bit of a twist.

1. The Man Who Opened the Watergate

Remember when Tricky Dick had his broskis break into the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters to try and make them look all bad and stuff? And then afterwards he came out and said that he didn’t do it, but then later said he pretty much did? Yeah. That was a good story.

2. Rod Blagojevich and the Gilded Chair

Once upon a time, there was a prince in a place called Illinois. This prince wanted so badly to get a whole bunch of money so he decided it would be a good idea to try and sell a Senate seat to whoever was willing to give him the paper. Then he got caught and went to prison. The end.

3. Fly Away, Pretty Bird

There was this one time, at hunting camp, when the Vice President of the United States got away with shooting a dude in the face. Turns out that 78 year-old lawyers look a lot like quail.

4. I’d Trade My Arms for a Hostage

So there was this one time when Ronald Reagan went on television and said there was no possible way that there were any sort of weapons going to Iran, but then later he came on and was all like, “Well, maybe I was wrong.” Yeah, good times.

I’m sure you can think of a whole bunch more but I’m going to leave that list as it is. Don’t hesitate to comment below with any other escapades into the ethical grey-zone.

Happy Presidents’ Day!

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3 thoughts on “Spinning Yarns: An Ode to Presidents’ Day

  1. I spent twenty minutes and managed to find one President who wrote both Poetry and a Fiction Book– Jimmy Carter: Always a Reckoning and Other Poems (1995) and the novel “The Hornet’s Nest” (2002). He also co-wrote a children’s book with his daughter Amy “The Little Baby Snoogle-Fleejer” (1995). All are still available at Amazon.com

      • What’s funny is most people consider(ed) him a useless president. But maybe that’s just the South for you? I don’t know.

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